Life comes a round circle when you try to connect the dots, but the key is that the timing has to be divine in each connection. When the fruit is ripe and ready to be plucked and even more ready to be eaten and sweet to taste! The powerful secret of timing is not for the faint hearted. Years of silent perseverance can lead to even more silent years of quietness. He’s not speaking, He’s choosing to remain quiet. He wants you to build your Faith…

Yes, the substance of things hoped for that remains unseen. Those silent years are training years, not passive or quiet but roaring fervently under your silence as you simmer with the heat of doubt pursuing you close at your heels and you keep looking ahead into the unknown but your eyes, yes your eyes have to see the path unseen.

“How?”…

I ask Him……all I hear is a gentle whisper….

“Faith”

…..and I have no root to stand on any ground. I’m empty! I will fall.. Hard……

”Faith”

…He would repeat and I learned to trust that voice I rarely hear these days. Just the word spoken once, maybe twice and now even its sound seems dim. But I’ve known His voice, His words have never failed me ….

I used to see His eyes and our long conversations were enough to trust His ever loving gaze. Those days Faith was easy .. I believed and I received but these days…they are different…. they are trying .. I can only hold on to the faint whisper of His last spoken word…

“Faith”

“On what? From where is it coming? How to grow it even if I got a measure remaining in me?”

Suddenly I saw the vision of His piercing deep eyes. That Lover of mine so sweet and divine. I had never touched His hand but always felt His warm embrace. I had beheld His glory in an empty room and though he was nowhere to be seen He was everywhere…. But I had to open my eyes, the eyes of my Spirit deep within my soul.
It was my only lamp, my torch in the dark endless night. I had to see Him with those eyes again and again and again and hold His beautiful vision in my inner gaze. Yes, Faith grew, it grew a little but when surrounded by a devouring forest of doubt I would lose the vision. I would lose myself .. I would lose Him if I didn’t see Him.

But I remembered He said

“I will never leave you nor forsake you”…

Yet this doubt kept creeping in and I felt helpless except for the faint whisper of …

”Faith”

and I caught the vision of His magnificent face in my inner eye and held it .. I held onto it for my Life. If I would lose it this time I would surely die!

And as He had said…. a little flicker, a little gentle trigger…. and Hope was birthed in this precise moment and I got a revelation…. Faith makes Hope and this Hope feels good . I needed both ….It was work… it was a lot of work .. so I better work ..And so I diligently sat each morning meditating on His vision when He held me tight and I held on and the vision grew… it enlarged and I saw Hope come up to me. Making my knees knock, my heart skip, my eyes swell! I knew I was moving into His new realm but doubt lurked around and Hope flickered faint. I had to grow my Hope … I had to, I knew how to and it was work. Hope had to be full for the door to swing open and my container was carrying just a drizzle. I needed more .. so I meditated more and I held my gaze firm.. my vision grew my hope while my doubt lagged behind. I practised and I practised and I cut out every unnecessary distraction.

“Hope …you have to grow”…

I kept repeating to myself.

And it did … as suddenly as a caterpillar turns into a butterfly…. that exact moment I heard His voice again. I leapt, I felt my heart would burst, I felt blood rushing through my veins.. I felt Alive!.. He had arrived after His sabbatical….Or .. was He always around? … Did He want me to grow into something more beautiful than my past? …. Yes… He wanted me to Hope and have Faith….A Hope that will always flicker in the darkest night cause I had faced it and survived.

I had Faith… it was mine …it had grown ..

I had taken my first step ahead to be alive with my divine ‘Prerna for Life.’