Yearning and waiting for you to come to me…Don’t awaken love before its time …wait…But I want more of Life … I want to live more … be alive ….. feel more alive …. I sense the trains running by and I’m just waiting, longing, wanting and left aside…
“Have you forgotten me?”
… You’ve turned your face away from me … I can feel the apathy of my situation … they can turn their faces from me but You .. You turned your face from me …
Acceptance and rejection, feeling loved and ignored … happy and sad….success and a failure …How I’ve tasted pieces of your morsels …bitter, sweet, sour, spicy, tangy, perfect, awful, just right, totally wrong … does it matter what phase I’m transitioning through at this time … without you its just a deep longing in this heart of mine….LA, New York, Paris, Toronto, Miami,.. The Alps, the majestic Alps cannot fill that vacuum of my longing …my waiting …I’ve looked divine … carried your glory on my face as I entered the ball but still felt left behind… the empty chatter… the fools comparing themselves with themselves … But I … my heart kept waiting … kept longing …
“Where are you? What are you doing? Do you need me?…… think about me?…. want me? wait for me?”
Twisting and turning on my bed … waiting and longing ….
There’s nothing out there that can fill this space … No travel in air or under the sea…..across the oceans or beyond the mountains … some places make me feel you are close because you created them … But the cities built on the catacombs carry a sense of despair… I can feel it… I can sense it .. I feel too much … I sense so much … I’ve yearned for you and I want to know you more….I can hear the faint whisper of your heartbeat….You’re always talking to me …whispering into my ears…. But I’m attentive now … I’m waiting, watching for you to speak …. Don’t be silent so long … I’ve grown used to this cold and this heat … it’s hot but so cold … it’s such a contradiction … if I have you I have it all …or else there’s really nothing worth having at all! From dust I came and to dust I shall return ….
“So, are these wantings, longings and yearnings in vain?”…
He looked up and sharply replied …
”for you I created this world to reside …you came from my heart and you are eternal … you carry my seed … You are Mine … your destiny is not a part of your mind. Remember you are mine. You’ll live forever with me .. reigning in Life! Victorious over all your yearnings and wantings divine … I’ll come to you soon … But it’s not my time … in time I will come to you … But arise and shine cause my glory is upon you and lift up your eyes and look…. they gather together and come to you from afar … Your children … Feed them at your breast as you were fed at mine, as I nurtured you and held you close to my bosom …”
“But I’m waiting for you… Wanting you .. Yearning for you … Such wasted time …”
“Redeem them in me”
He replied ….
“Make each tear into a drop of rain of the drying withered heart of that child in pain! Get out of yourself and come to me! Stand up for something beyond your dawn to dusk accountability…..Consider eternity …
Make an investment which will not rot in your armoire… Sow into the Spirit and reap a harvest eternal…”
“Yes, yes,” I screamed …. “Give me a calling … that will fill this longing …”
“Consider another .. Hold a hand together, share a smile with another … Sharpen an iron in the other… You’ll fill that longing and wanting … It’s really only in your calling …”
I arose … I had been kissed before …. But this time it was more deep, more passionate than before …
“Even though you have me all day, everyday to yourself … Go now and pour me out so I can fill you up … Flowing, moving, sharing, uplifting, encouraging, this crystal water in you will stagnate …..it must be poured out.”
I ran to that boys’ home and held him… that little boy of 6, with torn shoes and dyslexic attitude ….I saw him laughing, but his eyes were wanting, yearning, longing just like mine … He wanted to know he mattered ….that he was loved .. he was included … he was just like me … Waiting …
I held his hand and walked with the divinity I could see he was around … He was blessed beyond reason …His creator loved him with abandon and indeed my waiting was to be fulfilled in his hearts longing …
This crazy sweet love of mine had once again healed me with His love divine .. Now my waiting was being made complete in this boys longing in time ..
Yes, I’m feeling alive … Fulfilled in filling another .. My cup is running over .. I blush, I cry, I’m flushed, I’m crushed with my lover who bought me back to life… My ‘Prerna for Life‘
You are truly divine …. I’m feeling more alive to give of You my sweet love divine.
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